


Blinding Lights.

by TheOwlsBride



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Love, Sad Hatake Kakashi, Songfic, Strong Haruno Sakura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOwlsBride/pseuds/TheOwlsBride
Summary: Kakashi is bored, he is tired, and he thinks a lot. He is a bit lost, and with a repetitive tume in his mind. He thinks maybe Sakura is the answer to all his sorrows.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recomend to read while listening to The weekend Blind lights.

He was so bored! Utterly bored. Exhaustion painting all over his face, at least the visible part to people's eyes, and he could swear without a trace of doubt that the other half, the forbidden one showed the same. He smiled to himself at the thought. When was the last time that somebody has seen his face complete and unmasked? A doctor or two, perhaps, yes. After so many battles, so many missions, so many wars, it was kind of inevitable. They had seen the face under the black spandex mask attached to his sleeveless uniform shirt, sure, but his real face? The one under the mask that lays under the mask? He wasn't even sure how long has it pass since he, himself, dare to take a look at it. Of course, he knew his face, features and marks: his history written all over it. But facing it in front of the mirror reflection, and acknowledge his true deep self was something else. Something that he wasn't able to do, he didn't have the strength, not even the will to do it. It was terrifying and unsettling and even more now that he was the Hokage. It was funny, almost hilarious. One day he was the favourite Anbu prodigy, and the other he was the old Hokage of Konoha. Ironically he never wanted it. Of course, he was devoted to his village, he would do everything for his people, to protect them, take care and try his best to improve everyone's lives,  
he had a past to back him up. He had sacrificed more than anyone for Konoha, even his closest ones. His hands had been stained with blood, and he could still see them stained. The ghosts haunted him every night, sometimes they didn't even let him sleep; even so, he had given everything he had to attend to the needs of his village. He had obeyed orders without saying a word. He had executed each mission in silence, knowing that he would bear the consequences of them on his shoulders forever. He had seen friends die, some of them twice, and yet he had always moved on without looking back so as not to become a monster. He had seen his students grow up into adults, those who he once protected, trained and guide through the dark path of being a Shinobi, were now all grown-ups living their own lives as they pleased. And yet here he was, with a job he didn't desire but accepted anyway, why? Because he loved Konoha, despite everything.  
He looked through the window, the sun was starting to set as it did the city. The times were changing, everything seems so peaceful now through the sunset light, and yet he felt anxiety deep in his core. Something he couldn't even explain to himself. He wondered how all the Hokages did it before him. How they went through the most terrible times, and instead, now that was definitely peace and calm, he didn't know what to do. He was feeling lost, craving for a past that was no better but at least made him forget how it felt to be Hatake Kakashi for a while. He got up from his chair and went to the window. Once again, he looked at the horizon and sighed. He has hunched over again, a posture he had adopted over time, not because he couldn't stand upright, but so they wouldn't see him. Perhaps that way he went unnoticed, a way to make no one expect anything from him. This position served him well. He could seem carefree, oblivious to what was happening around him, sometimes unattainable, lazy and even occasionally irresponsible. Yet, there he was, in the highest position to which anyone can aspire. The truth was that he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he even wasn't feeling that old yet. He started thinking in Tsunade, what a woman. She was powerful, determinate, strong. The sannin was a force to reckon, she had been a great Hokage, even with her fierce character and her unusual orders and behaviour. He would like to talk to her now, but it was not the time.  
He wondered what she could do at moments like these ones when the situation was critical, but it didn't have anything to do with external menaces, civilian crisis, or whatever. He smiled to himself. The Godaime would have drunk until she lost consciousness and reason. She would get so drunk that her doubts and fears would be clouded by the alcohol and the next morning she would have moved on. He wasn't sure he could do the same. The problem with alcohol is that it seems to have different effects on each person. He knew it well. He wasn't much of a drinker, but the times he tried to drink his worries away, he ended up being an idiot: drinking leads him to think, and thinking makes him feel idiotic.  
The Hokage tower was already empty, Shikamaru was the last one to leave after asking Kakashi once and again if he needed it something. The kid had always been smart, or he was becoming more transparent over the years. Can everyone read him like an open book now? Kakashi dismissed Shikamaru waving his hand nonchalantly. Nothing the boy said or did could get him out of the bad mood he was in at the time. What would they talk about anyway? He wasn't going to tell the Nara boy nothing about his boredom, his anxiety, his lack of enthusiasm about his work, or for that matter, the loneliness he was feeling. There, he said it. Loneliness. How much a simple word could hurt? Apparently, a lot.  
Despite his own good judgment, he went to the cabinet where he knew Tsunade kept her private stock of sake that for some reason (as if she knew he was going to need it sooner or later) was left behind. The first drink was harsh, it was always the same, the burning throat, the tears that leapt involuntarily from his eyes and the chill that ran down his back, bristling the hair on the back of his neck. The second drink was already more friendly, and the third was almost like a brother's hug, not that he knew how it felt. It was a matter of time for everything that was well enclosed in his thoughts to begin to flow in front of his eyes. Now without his Hokage robe sitting on the frame of the large window watching everything go dark, he began to think, shit, damnend sake.  
It had been a while since he had seen his former students. Each of them had moved on with their lives and actually pretty well, sadly without much from his help. Sasuke had grown up, now he was a Shinobi who as always, preferred solitude and did not spend too much time in Konoha. Quite the opposite. He was quite elusive and spent more time outside the village than with his own. Kakashi didn't manage to make him stay longer than necessary and knew that the young Uchiha would never abandon the shadow that always surrounded him like ghosts of the past. He had achieved his redemption, but for Sasuke, nothing seemed enough. One of three: he had not been able to save him, not that time after tying the boy to a tree so that he would not leave on the night when he spoke as he had never done to anyone, with sincerity, and it was not even close enough to make the boy stay. Sasuke was never who he was again.  
Naruto, on the other hand, was a force about to explode. If Kakashi thought that Sasuke was more similar to him, was absolutely wrong. He didn't feel so smart right now. He would have to have realized that Naruto was actually the one who had embraced resilience like no one else. Naruto was light, Sasuke was dark, and that had confused him. Maybe Naruto was the boy who suffered so much, the loneliness, the loss of his parents, rejection, just like him, but that smile that shone like the sun had been able to mislead him. Kakashi was disappointed by this. However, the blond boy with the biggest sky eyes he had ever seen would soon become his successor. He really hoped it would be sooner rather than later. Naruto had grown so much. Sometimes he was envious of Jiraya: if only he had trained the boy more, paid more attention to him. Even though he knew he did everything in his willpower for Naruto. He knew that with the sannin, he had achieved things that he would never have otherwise. At times, Kakashi felt that he had failed his sensei, but he also knew that everything had been the best decision. While Sasuke was the prodigal son, Naruto was the light in everyone's life, the one who could be trusted and the one who would always be there for everyone. He had taken it for granted on more than one occasion, but things were what they were, and he knew that despite his irrational guilt, they had worked. Two of three.  
His fourth or fifth sake was finally dedicated to Sakura. The sweet and temperamental Sakura. Without knowing why Kakashi believed that she was his biggest fault. Hadn't he been able to see her as she really was at the time? Speaking of taking things for granted. Sakura had a natural talent, her handling of the chakra, her superior intelligence, her ability to see beyond, could almost be compared to Shikamaru's mind. And that was saying a lot. But there was something about her that at that moment kept him away. Just as he knew that the twelve-year-old girl was a talent, a diamond in the rough also knew that at times she lacked the necessary security to be a good kunoichi. Despite the determination of her effort and tenacity, Sakura's emotions could take her to early doom. Kakashi couldn't bear to lose his student, not again. He was sure that Sakura's kunoichi path was determined by her unconditional love for Sasuke, she used to breathed and lived for him. And that was weakness, Emotions are never good for a shinobi. Getting very close to the other, mixing feelings, exposing oneself was a foolish thing: however that had been his most important rule, never abandoning a partner. Yet in his days as sensei, he still judged the young girl's decisions based on her personal detachment and total surrender to the Uchiha boy. And as in a record that is repeated over and over again, Sakura had also changed him. She had been trained under the wing of the Godaime herself, Sakura become her apprentice, almost a daughter. Tsunade had known how to draw even the smallest drop of talent out of Sakura. She had formed the girl in her image and likeness, she had taught her to shine, to become strong, responsible and unique. Sakura had a power that no one else did. She had made her own path, and although many could still feel that they were not enough or that she had not evolved as much as her companions, Kakashi knew that she had been the strongest of all. She had overcome the onslaught of war, hardened his heart without turning into a heartless monster. All the love she had ever felt for Sasuke had turned into a love for her owns, and she had saved more lives than any other shinobi in a war. Sakura was talented, dedicated, gave everything she had for others and did not hesitate to pawn her own needs in favour of those in need. Sakura had put too much aside. That would never change, and now he was proud of the woman she had become. When had she gone from being the impatient and impulsive pink-haired girl to becoming the most powerful woman he knew? Three out of three.  
Kakashi smiled at the thought of Sakura. Of his three students, she was the one with whom he had the most contact. Now she ran the hospital and gave him the reports every night. She could send any assistants; however, Sakura enjoyed doing it herself. As if she still needed approval in her work. She wanted to show him night after night that she had finally broken her own limits and had become one of the most valuable people in the village. No one would steal the pleasure of recounting her advances, her success in surgery, or the development of a new antidote. No one would take away the possibility of showing him in his face that she was worth it.  
Sakura didn't have to prove herself to anyone, less to him. Kakashi knew her well. Sakura had become a woman to recognize, the childish gleam in her green eyes was now was the gleam of a woman determined to achieve all her goals. To teach everyone that the world was a better place, that no matter how many bad things happened, there was always room for light. Sakura, like him, had sacrificed everything for the others. She had changed her childhood love for Sasuke in pursuit of her goals. A time had come when she had matured. Her dream of a happy life with the last of the Uchiha clan had turned into a nightmare. Kakashi hated Sasuke a little for making her suffer. Sakura was the purest and most genuine being he knew, and the young man had never been able to recognize her. He had never abandoned his selfishness, and the pink-haired girl paid the consequences silently and stoically. Kakashi had done nothing to prevent it, and yet Sakura didn't need anyone to defend her or make her see reality. She had chosen the best for herself and left illusions behind. Instead, she embraced her work, her missions, her learning, and now the health of all of Konoha. Kakashi was proud of her and at the same time sorry that he hadn't been a little more part of this revealing process sometimes hard. A process that had dragged the tenacious and cheerful Sakura through darkness and loneliness, something they had in common even though they had never spoken about it.  
If there's one thing Kakashi could boast of, was his ability to read people. He was able to see the subtle changes in his former student. He could see how she bit her lower lip when she was nervous, when something didn't go the way she wanted or when she felt that tears were about to burst. He could see the sparkle in her eyes in all splendour but also how they faded the moment any topic related to her work was over. Sakura could in one moment go from being the brightest beacon in Konoha talking about a new project and in the next one turn off and get lost in the distance with a gloomy look. She was absorbed in her daily activities, and when they ended, there seemed nothing left for her. Why did the shinobi life always have to be so contradictory and painful? Whereas Naruto would always have Hinata to come back and take refuge in her arms. Sakura only had the solitude of her apartment and the occasional chat with Ino, and he was sure that was not what completed her the most. Sakura, like him, understood loneliness, only that unlike him, Sakura never let herself down and was ready to move on. She would not spend hours sheltering in her office looking through the window, sighing and lamenting her fate. Sakura would always do something to change her situation, and that was what most captivated him. Sakura was sure that better things were ahead for her to come. He does not. And that's why he respected her.  
The sake had already taken its toll on his head and his thoughts. Kakashi had foreseen it, but almost as if he had wanted something like this to happen, he was satisfied with the evolution of the night. He had reflected on his situation, he kept drowning in how heavy being a Hokage seemed to him, despite knowing that he was up to the task, and he had returned to thinking about his students, especially about Sakura.  
She was the one she had the most contact with, He saw her every day, and they sometimes talked for hours. Kakashi had witnessed every change in the girl, and along the way, he had also changed. Sakura was a woman, she had grown so much that he hadn't even realized when exactly she had done it. For some reason seeing her at night was the motivation of his days. Talking to someone who had similar feelings comforted him. He also couldn't deny the natural beauty that Sakura had become. He had to remind himself every time that she was his student, but still, couldn't help himself. It was not an explicit beauty that Sakura possessed, not like many of the kunoichis in the village. Sakura's beauty remained in the air once she left the place. It lingered there even hours after her absence. It was subtle, like a sweet fragrance in the wind: her shadow, her power, her smile. Kakashi had come to the conclusion that he liked all of Sakura. He punished himself, Sakura was a child, and he, he was not.  
He punished himself for not being able to see Sakura as just a colleague. He didn't know when things had changed. He had the need to be with her even without even noticing it. At some point in his long hours of solitude, Sakura had occupied his mind offering him some comfort. Not even his precious Icha Icha could satisfy him anymore, and it wasn't even that he wanted to put into practice with the girl with soft pink hair everything he read there. Kakashi knew how to separate the difference between fiction and reality well. Sakura was much more than just an erotic novel. So he never touched his hand, Sakura was all he wanted. Perverted.  
Sakura ... if there was someone who could get him out of this state even for a little while it was her. It was ridiculous. He thought of Tsunade once again, the Godaime would punish him only for his thoughts. He would end up for days lying in a hospital bed and live in shame forever. Still, at the same time, he couldn't help but see the woman's honey-coloured eyes telling him that Sakura was more mature than many of the adults around. That she was no longer a child and that wanting her was not a sin when it comes to two adults looking for the same path. Kakashi did the math. The age gap was a reality, but it was no longer so noticeable. In fact, he knew a lot of couples with the same age difference and even more, and nobody judged them, but he was the Hokage, and he couldn't afford those luxuries. Yet there he was, sitting in the window of his office craving for Sakura's company as if she were the only one who could appease the anxiety he felt that night. He was drowning in himself, and no one else could rescue him. He didn't even understand those feelings. He had to finish all this, so he took his things and left the tower walking out.  
Kakashi looked around the city, it was already cold and empty. He sighed in relieved. No one was around to judge him, and he could see clearly where he was going. He had been alone long enough and deep inside he hoped Sakura could help him. Maybe she can show him how to love. She didn't even have to do too much, he knew she could turn him on with just a word or a touch.  
Between the sake and the lights, Kakashi was blinded, he was drowning in the night, and the feeling was tortuous. He only needed to find her, to feel her touch. A touch that let him sleep in this awful night full of ghost. Kakashi knew that in situations like this, Sakura was the only one in which he could trust. Even if she didn't have to do much, even if she didn't know a single thing about his feelings. Even if she doesn't feel the same.  
Kakashi knew the way pretty well, and he wasn't that drank, he was walking to Konoha Hospital. He was running of the time, Sakura would leave the place anytime soon, and everything would be lost. He wouldn't let her go tonight.  
Kakashi turned the corner, and there she was, walking Home. Sakura was still in her working clothes, tiredness all over her face. She was in ow when she saw him. Was she afraid?  
"Hokage-Sama?" was all Sakura could say before wrinkle her nose, already, inspecting Kakashi's look as in a medical interview. Surely she thought he was injured again, or sick, or drank for the matter.  
"Maa, Sa Ku Ra" Always pretending. "Drop the title, please."  
"What are you doing here Sen... Kakashi?  
" I've been tryna call.


	2. She No Longer Heard the music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's Thought, We already Know what Kakashi fells but what about her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new Chapter, Recommended reading while listening to Music When the Lights Go out by The Libertines. 
> 
> Nothing Belongs to me

She No Longer Heard the Music. 

Is it cruel or kind  
Not to speak my mind  
And to lie to you  
Rather than hurt you  
Well, I'll confess all of my sins  
After several large gins  
But still I'll hide from you  
Hide what's inside from you  
I no longer hear the music

Sakura glanced at the clock hanging on the white wall of her office at Konoha hospital and discovered with feigned amazement that she had been working there since 11 pm from the day before. At which point 20 and a half hours had passed, no one could tell, much less her. She remembered that the day before around 8 o'clock she had stopped by the office of the new Hokage to leave him the reports of the previous shift, and after a small talk, she had quickly retired to the hospital to fulfil with excellence one of the last orders that Tsunade had imposed before resigning her position: Co running Konoha Central Hospital together with Shizune. And speaking of Shizune, where could she be now? Sakura looked at the clock again and sighed. Surely her Senpai would already be at home resting. She would have retired hours ago after warning her leaving for the day, asking the young nin doctor if she needed anything and recommending that she should rest too. Sakura already knew the routine by heart: she would simply dismiss any question from Shizune by waving her hand in denial, or she would have pretended not to listen to her Senpai and continued working, as usual, that inhuman amount of overtime. Shizune would have just sighed and after one last tired look, would leave the medical facilities until the next day, leaving Sakura to her own. Sakura felt comfortable in her hospital, she knew it like the back of her hand and every corner, no matter which one, it was like being in her own home. Not that she didn't have a home for her own, well, yes, yes she had, and a very comfortable one by the way, but she felt a lot better when working either in the ICU, the rooms, the laboratory or her office. She did not hate her own house, but she preferred to arrive there once she had finished all her duties. Exhaustion taking over her body and mind so that she could simply enter her comfortable apartment to take a shower and fall on her bed and finally sleep as deep as possible in the most dreamless dream, so she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night or the day depending on the worked shift.  
Sakura shook her head coming back to reality once more reading the records of the day, those that she would have to leave to the Lord Sixth at some point in the afternoon which means today she would be forced to leave the hospital shortly. It was 8 pm, if her math didn't fail her if she finished her work around 9, she could find Kakashi on his way to his own home, and at that moment she would deliver the papers. The oral report should be left for tomorrow and knowing her former sensei as she did, that would not be a problem. Kakashi had proven to be a better Hokage than anyone would have ever thought; still, old habits die hard: working more than necessary in bureaucratic matters was not in his nature, less now in these times of peace, so different from those that they had faced so many years ago.  
So many years ago. Had there really been so many? Yes, they had been, but they had passed quickly. In the blink of an eye, Sakura had gone from being a wayward 13-year-old girl starting her shinobi path to becoming a 25-year-old woman. A direct disciple of Tsunade, a Nin doctor, a great Kunoichi and a promise for Konoha medicine. Her professional life was settled for at least the next 15 years, and she was delighted with it. Even more now that the wars fought in the past had given way to brighter times for the new generations that slowly began to repopulate the village. There were already more births that were attended in the hospital than the fatal cases produced on the battlefields. Of course, people kept dying, that was inevitable, but it was one thing to lose shinobis and villagers due to natural causes and quite another to do it due to the horrors of war. Even so, Sakura, daughter of fire, anger, and convulsed times never let her guard down and was always attentive to a new outbreak of violence. Maybe it was a way of staying attached to a past that made her feel much more supported and contained, but prevention was never too much. The sun could shine brightly now, but no one would never know when a storm could come to sweep away everything built since then.  
Sakura was satisfied. Satisfied. No, not happy. Satisfied. She knew she was settling for little, but that's how the last few years had been. It's been said that in life one can't have everything and that's why it is better to settle for what at least in some way can go well, so that's exactly what she did. Sakura always considered herself as a woman with will and power, but on more than one time, the lack of self-confidence had led her down dark paths that she didn't even want to think about. However, it was not only her who thought so. She had heard the rumours about her. Since she was a girl, Sakura felt that she didn't fit in. She had grown up in a typical and wealthy home. Unlike the team 7 she had had the possibility of growing up surrounded by the love of her mother and father, she had not suffered the losses that Naruto, Kakashi or Sasuke suffered which at times she almost romanticized. She knew that as an only daughter, she had been the object of her parents' devotion and focus of all their attention, which turned her into a spoiled child. It is true that she was weaker than the others and that she also cried often, but it was also true, and no one could deny that when the time came, the change she had made to become stronger had been radical. She would never be left behind again, and yet the gossip continued. She had even heard them come out of her best friend Ino's mouth. What could Sakura know about the life of a Kunoichi when it was the closest to perfection. Ino had lost her father in the fourth war just like Hinata and Tenten lost Neji. Shikamaru had lost his father. Temari had grown up without the love of her parents like Naruto and Sasuke.  
Sakura was far from being able to empathize with his two teachers, how she could understand Kakashi's feelings or Tsunade's resilience when losing not only her brother but also her lover and later Jiraiya. For Ino, the most significant loss Sakura had ever suffered was her long pink hair that time as a child. What Ino didn't know is that each of those losses that didn't belong directly to Sakura, they did indirectly. Sakura loved each of her friends intensely and from the depths of her being. Each tear, each pain of any of them was her own in her skin blood and bones. She suffered with them and for them in silence, and that silence hurt more than anything. That is why she had decided to be a doctor, so as not to see anyone else ache again, and if somebody had to do it, after all, better to be her, because deep down she was strong, and she would be even more for others.  
Silence. That silence was slowly killing her. She was slowly sinking into loneliness and apathy. Ino would always be her best friend no matter what the blonde could say about her with a few too many drinks or for the simple fact of wanting to stand out as she had always been. The rest of the boys would be her family forever, and she would accompany them in every important step they took in this new adult life they faced. They all grew so much, they were even starting their own families. Even Naruto had overcome his unconditional love towards her, and now Hinata was the light in his eyes. Maybe Sakura should have paid more attention to him when she was a child, perhaps if she had tried to fall in love with the self-proclaimed future Hokage, today she would be happy. What Naruto wouldn't have done for her? However, she had always been in love with Sasuke. From the first day she had seen him in the academy, from the first second, and for a moment she thought they could have their happy ending, after the fourth war, revenge, repentance and tears, peace appeared. Sakura believed then that love was enough for everything and she had tried. Sakura and Sasuke finally began their love story. Sakura was ecstatic, and at first, she thought she had everything she had ever proposed. She would form a family with the last of the Uchiha and reestablish the clan, they would have many children who would exalt the surname once more. Children who grew up strong like Sasuke and sweet and determined like Sakura.  
However, the happiness that Sakura thought she had were nothing more than projections of her wishes. Sasuke was rarely in the village, and when he did, the distance between them was enormous even though neither of them said so. A devious routine that hurt more than any kunai. At night Sasuke and Sakura could love each other intensely for a couple of hours, even talk to each other about their days or their wishes. Sasuke would sleep wrapped in nightmares and night fears while Sakura would watch over those dreams trying to provide comfort to her lover, caressing his forehead, whispering comforting words in his sleeping ears, Sakura would spend hours without sleeping, and when the morning arrived, after having breakfast together they would go their own way without much to say to each other. And so over the years, Sakura realized that she no longer heard the music. All those melodies of love, dreams of illusion vanished, and she quickly began to feel nothing for Sasuke. They had nothing in common, and the truth struck her like a thunderbolt: they were together out of habit, fear and anxiety. She had to finish everything as soon as possible to stop the spiral of wounds that a relationship like this left, however, her heart and nobility played a trick on her. Sakura felt that she could not abandon Sasuke, that he could not suffer another loss and despite losing her own happiness, she had to sacrifice herself to achieve the mental and emotional well-being of her loved one. That's what she was for, that's what a woman was for. she wouldn't be as cruel as the world was when Sasuke was little. She could save him even if no one saved her.  
And so, without much and without anyone noticing, Sakura became a ghost, the shadow of herself. More and more silence, more and more loneliness and more fake smiles. She was lost again as she was when she was a child.  
And one day Sakura's world stopped. She should have seen the signs. That night Sasuke and Sakura had sex, the most intense and intimate sex they had ever have. Long hours of love and pleasure till they both fall asleep. In the morning Sakura looked for Sasuke by her side, but he was gone. On the bedside table was a letter that was written in the neater handwriting she had ever seen, and she didn't need to open it. Sasuke had left and would not return. Sakura was relieved and scared of her own feelings, but it was better this way. Both would go their own way and would have to discover who they really were for the first time. Sakura had a new chance.  
And with this new chance in hands, she devoted her life to the hospital and to others. Yes. She was satisfied.  
Sakura began to gather her things and put together the folder that would present to her Hokage in just a few moments. She smiled to herself at the thought of him: his languid figure with his false hunched posture, the smile behind the mask, maybe the white robe slung over one shoulder in case he had felt too lazy to take it off and leave it in the office and his hands in his pockets. Kakashi was a mystery; however, those little glimpses of his gestures Sakura knew them perfectly. She had known Kakashi since she was 13 years old and since then he had perhaps been the only person who had stayed closest to her in all this time. Ever since her sensei had assured her and her teammates that he would protect them with his life on their first mission against Zabuza, even if it was a clone talking, even if it was a strategy, she knew then that he was serious. She also knew back then that she was at his feet. She was a child then, she was impressed with Kakashi, even hating sometimes his antics. She wasn't in love with her sensei, she didn't have a crush on him; then, it was just pure admiration and respect. She used to felt secure around him, and so she did through all these years: during missions, in the war and now that he was in charge of all the people of Konoha. Kakashi loved Konoha as much as she did, and that made her respect him even more. He had never turned his back on his people, despite everything he had ever had to go through, he always remained true to his principles and had never become a monster to fear. So far away was Kakashi from Sasuke in the end, those who might once have looked alike, today proved to be totally different. Sakura could trust in Kakashi. No matter how many vague answers he gave to her tireless questions, how many evasions he invented so as not to talk about himself, or how many times she wondered if there was ever a genuine smile underneath that mask, in the end, Kakashi was always loyal, faithful and honest.  
Sakura admired his joviality. The man remained the same as when she had met him, he seemed not to have aged a year, while she had aged all together. How many years separate them? Thirteen, maybe fourteen, and yet at times, she seemed even older than him. She had to ask him the secret of youth. Saying that Kakashi was attractive was a no-brainer. Everyone knew it, she knew it, even without seeing his face. She knew or thought she knew that under the mask was one of the most beautiful faces of Konoha, however, perhaps because of the secrets it hid, Sakura felt that her Hokage looked even more attractive like that. It was not necessary to speak of his body. Kakashi was an elite shinobi, his body had been shaped for that so he could be a killing machine, however, he also may look like a rag doll sometimes. Sakura knew a large part of his thanks to the number of times she had healed his wounds as a doctor, and she had seen many other men as well, but the former Copy Ninja had a different complexion from the others. While most of the shinobis looked either too thin or too formed, Kakashi was the balance between the two. Long legs, narrow waist, a flat abdomen, broad shoulders. Yes, Hatake Kakashi was the closest thing to perfection Sakura knew that any woman who could have him for herself would be lucky in more ways than one and she was jealous just imagining it. Sakura blushed from just analyzing her thoughts since when had she started observing her sensei like this? She almost chastity herself and force her mind to change the course of her thoughts.  
Not everything was beauty and light in the Hokage, and that Sakura could see it too. Behind all that carefree facade, the tired looks and mischievous smiles, she also saw loneliness. Whole hours spent in an office to which he had no attachments and a home to return to where he could only find his dogs if they were invoked. She wondered what was going through Kakashi's mind. Was he still missing Rin? Would he have overcome Obito's loss, this time for good and the Sharingan as well? Kakashi was a man of action, Sakura felt that even in times of peace, he would miss the din of missions, a battle, the fire and the anxiety of not knowing what would happen next. Sakura sighed. In the end, Kakashi was more like her than she could have ever imagined. They both clung to a dark past, a present that offered only apathetic calm and a future full of promises of lonely stability.  
Sakura felt her heartache for both of them, but even more for Kakashi. Once again, her mind and soul were trying to heal somebody else before herself, but she couldn't help it. Thinking of Kakashi filled Sakura with a warmth in her body that she hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't just physical attraction. It wasn't about wanting to spend a night with Konoha's most coveted ninja. No. Sakura wanted to share her sorrows along with his. She wanted to touch his hand and reassure them both that everything would be fine. She craved to talk to him for hours, contemplate the stars with him, gaze at his profile, laugh at his silly jokes, and get mad at his ridiculous excuses. Suddenly Sakura wanted everything from Kakashi, she desired to know him as he really was. She wanted to remove him from the pedestal she had once put him on and make him human, re-meeting him as what they were now: two adults. Sakura took her things and went out determined to meet the Hokage. She would give him the reports and see what happened next. She would invite him to dinner just for the sake of being courteous and talking to him. Just to know what his answer would be. Even if it were a no, which she supposed would happen, she would begin her attempts to get closer to him and know if he wanted to get closer to her. She didn't care what kind of relationship they could strike up. She wasn't expecting anything, just hearing his voice, even his rejection. Maybe that's how Sakura could felt something again, even if it was just pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a second part, what do you think? does it deserve the third one? I wrote this story inspired by The Libertine song and some things a red over the years about Sakura, which I don't think they are fair.  
> I would love to hear your opinions, as I told you before, this is my first fin in the Naruto Verse and English is not my mother language. So i'am going to be absolutely delighted to read you. Thank you so much to every one


	3. The meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura and Kakashi need to meet eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No songs this time, But wait for the next one

Kakashi turned the corner, and there she was, walking Home. Sakura was still in her working clothes, tiredness all over her face. She seemed to be in a hurry. Was she so urge to get home? As soon as they met, face to face, she was in ow when she saw him. Was she afraid?  
"Hokage-Sama?" was all Sakura could say before wrinkle her nose, already, inspecting Kakashi's look as in a medical interview. Surely she thought he was injured again, or sick, or drank for the matter.  
"Maa, Sa Ku Ra" Always pretending. "Drop the title, please." Lord, he was pleading, and it was definitely much needier than all the other times he had asked the same.  
"What are you doing here Sen..." He lifted an eyebrow "Kakashi".  
" I've been tryna call." Kakashi stated simply and then closed his mouth. Sakura opened her's as to say something, but nothing seems to come out for a while. "I kind of forgot your phone number" Kakashi added, this was killing him. Sakura bit her lower lip, she wasn't buying it.  
"Do you need something, Kakashi?" Sakura finally asked.  
"You" Sakura was shocked, fuck, he was ruining this, he felt like an idiot. "I mean, I needed it to talk to you" alright, much better. He had to keep it neutral.  
"Oh..." Sakura was still looking at him with concern. She was running a silent exam on him "I see, tell me then Sensei." Again with the title, but this time he let it go.  
"Are you in a hurry? Were you going home? I can Wait, maybe tomorrow." he was choking on his own words. He was accelerated, and he felt like a teenager. Sakura laughed.  
"Easy Kakashi, I'm not in a hurry; actually, I was looking for you." Was she blushing? He couldn't be sure, the dim light from the streetlamp casted a shadow over them that made the vision quite blurry. How he missed the Sharingan right now. He tensed, and for the first time in the hole day, he stood straight.  
"Ah, Sakura Chan, such a coincidence, right?" There, he had to keep it cool. "Tell me, why were you looking for me?" His voice was deep though, deeper than what he would like it. Sakura stiffened, she was kind of nervous, and Sharingan or not, he could sense that he was right: she was a bit blushed, he took his chance and walked a step forward to her.  
"I...I" Sakura began nervously. All her resolution from before had run like a rat in a fire. He was overwhelming. She never had thought that one thing was speaking to him in her mind and another totally different face to face. "You first, Hokage Sama..." She suddenly remembered that infatuated with him or not, he was still her superior, the correct thing to do could be to listen first.  
"Sa Ku Ra..." He warned. She sighed, this was going to be difficult.  
"Alright" she could never win. "Yesterday, after our meeting, I came directly to the hospital, and I've been working since then" Sakura started with a tired tone.  
"Wait, are you telling me that you've been in here for almost a whole day?" Kakashi was stunned. She was incredible. He knew that she was a bit of a workaholic, but twenty hours was too much, and there was no chakra that can handle that amount of overwork. "You must be exhausted." He finished in disbelief denying lazily with his head.  
"No" Sakura started "Well, yes... But..."  
"Sakura, if you need a vacation, you just need to ask." Kakashi interrupted, this was definitely not going as he expected. He had arrived there feeling so miserable about himself, ready to cry his heart out with the girl and now that he was in front of her, he was full of concern only wanting to give her a free time at least at the spring bath where she could relax.  
"It's no not that, I..." she tried again.  
"Sakura you know I'm the Hokage, you can ask me anything. How many days do you..."  
"Hokage Sama, I know who you are" she finally said "I know it too well." Was regret in her voice? He stubbornly closed his mouth this time. He needed to listen. Sakura started again.  
"As I was saying, Kakashi, I've been working... a lot. Please wait" Even without seeing his face she knew that he was going to talk again. "And I lost track of time, so I know I was getting late to show you the reports, which I have them here in the satchel. I thought I would catch up with you on your way home so to handle them to you, but you are here, so here they are" Now she was chocking with her words. She released her breath and looking down at the floor, she handed the files to Kakashi. There was silence for a moment until he also extended his arm to take what Sakura offered him.  
Their fingers brushed and lingered on the papers together more than necessary, Sakura could feel the electricity the simple touch was providing her, it was like thousands Chidori trying to escape from the hands of his former sensei. Kakashi could feel it too. Such an intense touch, so lightly and innocent, but so tempting and forbidden at the same time. He smirked under the mask, yes, Sakura was all he wanted, but he needed it to break the silence, the touch. Things shouldn't be rough, and he wasn't a hormonal teenager.  
"Maaa, Sakura, you didn't need to take such a bother, there is always a tomorrow you know." He was acting all so cool again. A hand full of papers, the other scratching the back of his neck and a close eye smile painted in his face.  
"Tomorrow may be late, sensei." Sakura was whispering, he could sense the sadness in her voice "Anyway, you never told me why you were looking for me." She changed her demeanour, changed the subject, and changed her stance. Now she was all professional again and with arms crossed look alike too much like Tsunade to his likeness.  
"Ahhh..." He brought his index to his mouth and smiled "I guess I forgot?" Kakashi was dumbfounded. Apparently, the romantic's affairs weren't as easy as shown in Icha Icha. Years and years reading those books and all for nothing.  
"Kakashi, are you telling me that you were trying to call me but forgot my number, and come all over here to tell me something, this late, and you just forgot what it was?" Sakura was amazed, surely the Hokage was starting to lose his mind, that tedious, dull job was finally taking its toll. She shrugged and watch him closely. There had to be something wrong with him.  
"I'm sure it was not that important, Sakura." Kakashi was lying. It was crucial, his heart was depending on it. He was felling fearless moments ago when the effect of the sake was still playing with his metabolism, but now that it was gone, he couldn't bring himself to tell anything to the girl, no, not the girl, the young woman he had in front of him. He was a fool after all. What had he thought? That Sakura was going to listen to his clumsy love confession as in a love story and jump into his arms, tear apart his mask and ravish his mouth as if there were no tomorrow? The idea was alluring, and he was quickly reacting to the image. He was inner battling with his body, heart and mind, and no one seems to be winning, and Sakura was sensing that something else was happening.  
"Kakashi, you look strange, are you sure you are ok?" Sakura asked, concerned, bringing her hand to the forehead of the man in front of her. She needed it to know at least if he actually had a fever. Kakashi snatched her hand midway. It was a rude gesture, but if he let her continue, he feared that containing himself wouldn't be an option any longer, that was not how he had planned any of this. But wich one was the plan again?  
Sakura was shocked. If Kakashi didn't even want her to touch his forehead, how would she get closer to him? This was going terrible, she was feeling like a little girl again, like that day with the bells. Useless. The voices in her head were coming again: Ino's words, Sasuke's scorn, her insecurities, everything. She took a deep breath, she had promised herself to be stronger, that she would never be again that weak child, and if Kakashi was what she wanted, then she would go for him and see how far she was able to go for him, for both of them. She took courage and spoke again.  
"So, no fever, then Kakashi." She eyed him warily.  
"Nah, no fever." He dismissed her. She was starting to walk, she was going away from him. Not this time "Were you going home? Sakura nodded, and he felt relieved. At least Sakura didn't have any plan for the night, that could have made him extremely jealous. "Do you mind if I walk you home, Sa Ku Ra?" Kakashi spoke in his soft, relaxed tone, but for Sakura, it was a terrible invitation, if only he knew what she felt every time he said her name like that. She wasn't that aware before, she was aware now. And she hated it. She would much prefer to keep on living in the oblivion about her feelings for the Hokage. He was so unreachable.  
"Hokage Sama, I think you know that I'm pretty capable of walking home alone" she laughed nervously "I've been doing it for the last five years a least."  
"I know you are" Kakashi excuse himself "I meant walking with you."  
"Are you sure?" Sakura was ecstatic and disoriented at the same time. Hatake Kakashi was offering her to walk home together. Didn't he have better plans than to accompany your former student home?  
"Yes, I'm sure, besides I'm also getting old, exercise is good for me" Sakura laughed heartily.  
"Kakashi, in all these years I have not seen you grow old a year. You are the same as that day I met you, I bet you are like wine" Fuck, she spoke too fast without thinking, she unconsciously bit her lips and was sure that her face was redder than any cherry.  
"Like wine?" Kakashi knew what the girl was referring to, but he needed to hear it from her. Sakura was impulsive, and this almost innocent comment had escaped her mouth, surely without her strict permission.  
"You know, a good wine is better with age" Sakura answered almost in a whisper.  
"So you mean I'm like a good wine?" Kakashi couldn't believe what he was hearing "It's the best I've been told in a long time."  
"Oh came on Sensei, you know what I mean, is a way of saying" she was blushing profusely. He laughed genuinely and ruffled her hair like so many years ago.  
"Way to say or not, thank you!"  
Kakashi and Sakura walked in silence. It was not an awkward silence. They were two people who had known each other for a lifetime, and despite feeling apart for a long time, they felt comfortable in each other's company. Kakashi walked looking at the stars with his hands in his pockets as always, and just as Sakura had foreseen, the Hokage's white robe hanging loosely from one of his shoulders. She walked beside him, every so often stealing a glance finally at his profile.  
The road from Konoha Hospital to the apartment where Sakura lived was not very long. Sakura would have given her life for the road to be longer, but unfortunately, the walk would be short, and in the blink of an eye, they were already at the building's door. Sakura nervously played with her hands, Kakashi stared at the ground.  
"Well, Sakura, I think we have arrived."  
"Yes, we did" Sakura answered, putting the key in the door to open it.  
"Safe and sound ..." Kakashi was fighting with himself again. He wanted to kiss her right there, against that door, no matter what else. He imagined his hands travelling all over the girl's body and even how her skin would feel when touched by his fingers without the gloves. What would the skin on Sakura's neck taste like? Would he still be able to savour there the same fragrance of strawberry candies that he both hated and loved at the same time? No, he had to stop "I think we'll see each other tomorrow, right?" He turned to leave. He was stupid.  
"Kakashi ..." Sakura said his name as if it was the first time she had, with her hand resting on his right arm "Would you like to come in for a coffee?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back, It's a bit shorter than the others, but for them to talk to each other and find out how they fell and see if something happens between these two, I think, that it was better if I split it in two. I don't believe in relationships were in one moment they say hello to each other and in the other they are making out. I donn't know, maybe I'm just getting old.  
> Hope to read your comments as usual, please, they make me happy and help me to improve.


	4. Trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trash, belongs to Suede.  
> I don't own Naruto  
> Finally the end

Trash

Oh maybe, maybe it's the clothes we wear  
The tasteless bracelets and the dye in our hair  
Maybe it's our kookiness  
Or maybe, maybe it's our nowhere towns  
Our nothing places and our cellophane sounds  
Maybe it's our looseness  
But we're trash, you and me  
We're the litter on the breeze  
We're the lovers on the streets  
Just trash, me and you  
It's in everything we do  
It's in everything we do

Kakashi followed Sakura into her apartment. He was surprised, amazed, almost in fear. Not even the Fourth War had put him in such an anxious state of mind. His shinobi senses were failing, and suddenly he felt stupid and ridiculous. All the courage and bravery from before had left his body, and now he felt like if all strength had decided to abandon him. He was a strong and courageous man, he was a man of war, blood and fear, and yet here he was feeling like a child. Not even in his first missions did he remember feeling this way. And it was all about Sakura, his little pinky haired Sakura. The problem was that she was little no more. She was a stunning young woman that he had no idea when he had fell over his fit for her. Not even in his wildest dreams, Kakashi would ever think that he was going to be drinking coffee in Sakura's house. But again, what did he believed in the first place? He wondered the streets a bit drunk looking for the girl, yes, he was going to tell her that he realized that he was absolutely in love with her somehow and that he only expected her to listen to him and comfort him for a while and nothing else. Kakashi couldn't really ask Sakura for more. For everything, he knew about her was that some time ago, she had ended her relationship with Sasuke, or was it otherwise? That she had dedicated herself to work and sheltered her heart from any romantic affair. How could he thought that he could stand a chance? And yet here he was: felling idiotic and more desperate than before at the Hokage Tower.  
"Please Kakashi, take a seat, make yourself at home" So no title, no Hokage Sama, no Kakashi Sensei, nothing, just Kakashi. This was killing him. Sakura was unreadable. Kakashi took a seat on the table, analyzing the situation like in a mission. What were her motives to invite him in? Was he looking so desperate that she was worried? Was she going to ask him Something, because after all, he was the Hokage? "Oi, Kakashi Sensei! are you okay?" Sakura spoke again, and the damned 'sensei' appeared again. "Where is your mind travelling? I'm trying to catch your attention like for five minutes now." Sakura finished with a frown.  
"Trust me Sakura, you have my attention," Kakashi said, almost whispering.  
"Ok, so you do want the chocolate cake." She crossed her arms in front of her.  
"Yes... What? No" Kakashi choked with his words and thoughts "You know I don't like sweets." He finished sheepishly.  
"See? you weren't listening. I asked if you prefer coffee or Something else, Something stronger..." Kakashi lifted his eyebrow. "Coffe it is then" Sakura finished blushing turning her back to him going to the kitchen.  
"Ah, Sakura Chan, you can bring the sake too if you want to." and suddenly the Hokage was starting to relax again. After all, they could talk about everything, like the weather, or the next Chunin exams, or the Hospital plans. No, no feelings involved.  
Sakura was trembling. She was trying her best to not let show her agitation, but deep down, she felt that she was failing. Suddenly, Sakura had seating in the living room as it was the most normal thing in the village, the Hokage himself, the same Hokage that not long ago she discovered that she was in love with, in a way that she never thought. Oh, the things she would do to him if she has a chance. But first Sakura needed to talk. She needed to tell Kakashi that she discovered these new feelings, and there was no turning back. That actually she didn't know how to love, that was foreign territory for her. Yes, Sakura did have Sasuke once, but that was not love, that had been a toxic relationship in which she had given everything and received nothing in return. A relationship in which she had functioned more as a therapeutic companion than as mate, in which over time she only got hurt. Sakura needed Kakashi to know that she had no real experience of healthy love. She even thought that she didn't know what love really was. She only knew the glimpses of the relationship between Naruto and Hinata, or Ino and Sai, and she wasn't even sure if that was what she wanted for her. Sakura wanted to tell Kakashi all these things because even if he rejected her, at least she could ask him what to do. Sakura was ready to hear that she was a lost cause. She wasn't tender like Hinata, hot like Ino or strong like Temari, she was just a great doctor with a brilliant career in front of her to take care of others not expecting anything in return. And that was ok if it was the case, if Kakashi, the most intelligent man, in his own way, she knew told her so. The coffee was ready, she prepared the tray with two cups filled with the steaming brown liquid, two glasses and a bottle of sake, just as her sensei had suggested. Before returning to the living room, she observed from the kitchen door: Kakashi was sitting near the table with his legs crossed, slightly tilted to one side, with his arms crossed looking at nothing. What would he be thinking? She was sure that the echoes of Sasuke could still be heard in the apartment, and she hated herself for it. That was her house, yes, but nevertheless, some shadows made her feel like a foreigner and now another man was once again occupying one of the three chairs next to the table. She felt like she was betraying someone: Sasuke, Kakashi or herself she didn't know.  
"I can feel you are staring, you know? Sakura" Kakashi spoke in his mocking tone uncrossing his arms without looking at her "You can make a hole in my head with those green eyes of yours."  
"Sorry," Sakura started "I was checking if something was missing" such a lame excuse she thought.  
"Is that so?" He was being annoying, and he knew it, but it was the only way he could get to relax and talk to her.  
"Yes, it is." Suddenly she was again lost of words.  
"My god, Sakura" Kakashi spoke again. "Even Hinata can make longer sentences, come here at once." Sakura shivered, that commanding tone was terrifying if not exciting. As expected, Sakura obeyed placing the tray on the table. She took a seat in front of the Hokage, who instantly sat up in his chair supporting both arms on the glass of the table. Now she had his full attention.  
Silence fell on Kakashi and Sakura, they studied each other without saying anything. It seemed as if they were trying to read each other's thoughts, but neither was having any luck. Reading minds was not in the list of their talents. Both were lost in the presence of the other. Kakashi had to end this. He took one of the glasses, and after filling it with sake, he drank it in one gulp. Sakura smiled when she saw Kakashi's grin as he took a second glass. Now yes, now he had to speak.  
"Sakura, I ..."  
"Sensei ..." But Sakura spoke first.  
"Sakura, I need you to ..."  
"Kakashi, I know, I shouldn't call you by the honorifics, but please let me speak" Something in the girl's tone made Kakashi shut up, he was going to let her speak first. She seemed nervous, anguished, a little flushed too. Looking at her nervous hands as they clattered on the table. Kakashi extended a glass full of liquor to the girl and after inviting her to drink it, he waited for her to start talking. He wanted to take Sakura by her hands so that she could make them stop moving. To prevent her nails from hurting her skin anymore, but he was not going to touch her without her permission, he was not going to exceed the boundaries.  
"Am I a lost cause?" Sakura asked without any filter, and Kakashi was lost. What was she talking about?  
"I'm sorry, what?" Sakura took another glass of sake, and she was starting to feel warm "I think we are not having coffee any more" Kakashi concluded serving more sake for both of them. This was going to end terrible wrong or terrible good, he couldn't just tell yet.  
"I asked you if I'm a lost cause" Sakura started again "I mean, you know about life right? not the shinobi life, just life, real civilian life." Sakura was playing tongue twister.  
"I guess..." Kakashi told her. Did he? did he know about regular civilian life? "But you know I'm not an expert, you are well aware of how my life has been, Sakura" Sakura's heart shrunk "you should talk about this with your friends, not with me." Were tears on her eyes?  
"I can't..." her voice was breaking "It has to be you. You have to let me finish and then, in any case, help me."  
"Oh my god, you are not pregnant right?" Kakashi almost broke the glass "I'll not act like your father, you already have one."  
"Kakashi, stop" Sakura raised her voice for the first time in the night. "Trust me, being pregnant not only would it be easier but a miracle" Kakashi breathed. "I think I'm in love." And Kakashi stopped breathing again, and it hurt like hell.  
"That's why you need to talk with your friends. What about Ino?" he started, standing up ready to leave. He didn't need it to hear anything about the stupid lucky boy who Sakura had fallen in love with.  
"Please, Kakashi, sit down. I need to talk to you and only you." He obeyed, finally he couldn't say no to her pleading.  
"Ok, spit it all. The old man here will give you his best advice." Kakashi sat down again, reluctantly.  
"The thing is that I recently acknowledge this feeling, and it's weird to me. I've never felt like this before, and I don't know if it's even love or just admiration or infatuations." Sakura was an open book. Why with him? Why it had to be him?  
"You know what love is Sakura, What about Sasuke?"  
Kakashi's voice had dropped at least one tone, and it already felt scratchy from the alcohol "You dated him for years, it was your dream."  
"It was a nightmare. I thought I loved him, and he loved me back, but you know him. Sasuke never settled down, he never left his ghosts to go, he was drowning in an abysm, and I was drowning with him." Sakura was resisting the tears, and Kakashi wanted to hang Sasuke from the highest part of the Hokage tower and leave him there. If he still had the Sharingan, he would subject him to being immersed in the mangekyou forever, even if it killed him.  
"What's the difference now, Sakura?"  
"I don't know" Sakura was having a hard time, he needed to stop talking and saying her name like that "I was hoping you can tell me what love is to you and maybe make me understand." Kakashi was shocked. Tell her what love is, and make her understand? not tell her, make her "Please sensei?"  
"First, Sakura, if I'm doing this..." what was this? "We're doing this, you need to stop calling me sensei, or Hokage Sama, or Lord Sixth, or whatever. I need you to be my equal, two adults, alright?" Sakura nodded, this time for real, she wanted to be the adult she became too. "Second, are you sure about this? You know I read Icha Icha all the time." He was trying to discourage her. He didn't want to talk about love if he was not going to be the loved one.  
"Even though Kakashi, even if you read that book all the time." Sakura was firm in her decision. Kakashi had no choice.  
"Alright..." another glass "I don't know what is to love or to be loved. I only can guess" Sakura was stunned. He never had anybody in his life then? "I can tell you what I hope it would be."  
"That will do." She said, full of hope.  
"I guess love is the purest and genuine feeling of all. A person can love in so many ways and levels that you can only imagine. I love Konoha, I love my people, I love Naruto, and of course all of you" Wrong path Kakashi, wrong path.  
"Even me?" Sakura's eyes were brighter than ever.  
"Yes, Sakura, even you" He was uncomfortable, anxious "but there is another kind of love, and that's the one you are talking about. I would love to believe that love is the moment that person becomes the centre of your thoughts, it's when you smile even against yourself when she is not near. When you remember her fragrance in the room. Love can plague your dreams and can be terribly frightening" Still in his chair he was talking dreamingly, almost fantasizing and Sakura was slightly getting closer to him, like in a spell. "You know love strikes you like lightning and you can't make anything about it. You want to see her, stay close, touch her" Kakashi looked at her, He got lost in her eyes.  
"And?" Sakura asked as a child asking for more tales to sleep. Kakashi was playing with his glass, knowing he was dangerously flirting with fire.  
"Love is to worry if she is okay, it is knowing that she is a complete person by herself and that oneself is complete too, that there are not soulmates nor fairy tales with happy endings if they are not built. Love can be incredible, but it can also hurt. It is a constant challenge, it is the perfect combination of pleasure and suffering, life and death. Love can be passions and fires unleashed, but it must also be calm and peaceful. Love is trusting and being proud of her, happy for her even if it kills you from the inside. Love is not perfect Sakura, and that is why it is difficult to find the true one." Kakashi didn't dare to look at her.  
"For a person who says to know nothing about love, it seems to me that you know a lot, Kakashi." Sakura was flustered. Her chicks were burning, and her head spinning. Kakashi seemed to be talking about a certain girl, all the time he said the word 'she', and that hurt, but it was ok, at least now she knew she loved him even if she didn't have a chance.  
"Tell me Sakura" Kakashi spoke walking to the door, he was way too dizzy, not sure if it was from the sake or from everything he had unknowingly said, "do you feel anything like that?" Kakashi was already opening the door, head hanging down. He could still see Sakura out of the corner of his eye.  
"I do."  
"Then that boy is a fucking lucky bastard." He had one foot out of the apartment, he was ready to leave, but suddenly two slim arms around his waist made the task impossible.  
"The last time I checked, he was not a boy." Kakashi felt Sakura's voice vibrating on his back. He froze for a moment feeling the erratic breathing of the girl on his body, and finally, he turned to face her. Sakura still hadn't separated from him even an inch. He took her by her shoulders, to look her in her eyes.  
"What do you mean, Sakura?" His voice was strange even to him. It was lower, deeper, menacing.  
"Stop saying my name like that" Sakura pleaded, trying to get closer to his masked lips.  
"Like what," He said, pulling her slightly away "Sa Ku Ra?"  
"So sinful, so sweet, so tempting" she was melting, and he was stoically watching her "I realize I'm absolutely and madly in love with you, and I can't have you." Kakashi couldn't believe the situation, he didn't know if he was in hell or in heaven.  
"You can't have me?" What was she talking about?  
"No, I can't, I herd you well before. You were talking about this girl so lovingly and swetl..."  
"Oh, god! And I always thought you were the clever one." He said before crushing his mouth against hers. Sakura whimper, she felt so good, even with the mask on. He pinned her against the door, and she put her hands between his hair, caressed his neck and the little hairs on the nape aroused sensations that had been asleep for years. He ran his fingers through her jaw, her neck, he drew the shape of her collarbone, he tried to remember every inch of Sakura as it was in that moment against that door; still, he wouldn't give one more step. Even if his body was screaming to have her, he had said that love was respect, and that was what Sakura was for him, Love.  
Sakura was burning inside and outside. Her body was sending fire to all her being, and she never thought she was capable of feeling this way. One moment she was all sad and lost thinking that there was nothing else out there for her, and now she was being kissed against her door by no other tan Hatake Kakashi. It was insane, and he was so perfect, after all, what had been said and done, she was kissing her former sensei, and she wanted more. She took the first step, she extended her hands towards Kakashi's cheeks, he gently rubbed his face against her palms. She was asking permission, and he was consenting. Sakura slid the mask down, and her mouth drop.  
"Why?" she managed to say.  
"I don't want all Konoha trying to kiss me." He answered, smiling, taking the chance to kiss her again. The kiss was tender, even fragile, there was no rush, no time, Neither of them thinking in who they were.  
Kissing was ok, but not enough, Kakashi could feel it in Sakura clinging closer to him as if that was possible. Suddenly his hands began to travel not only on Sakura's arms, but they also ran over her back and the need to feel her skin was stronger. Kakashi shoved his hands under Sakura's medic jacket. A pleasurable grunt escaped his throat when he felt the softness of the pink-haired girl's skin, and she could only repeat his name.  
Kakashi: that was all her mind could think about, Kakashi kissing her, Kakashi caressing her back, Kakashi drawing the form of her little breast murmuring how perfect they were between kisses. Kakashi's body pinning her against the door, his hardness, in which Sakura's now dirty mind, was huge. It was hot, Sakura was hot, she could feel it on her body, and she could feel it between her legs like never before. Sakura being caressed like this by Kakashi made her thought that that was the closest thing to feeling adored as a goddess. No, the silver-haired man wasn't selfish, he hadn't pressured her to touch him yet, nor had he dragged her into the room to satisfy his desires like others did before. Kakashi was taking his time, and that was disarming Sakura.  
"Kakashi, please."  
"Pretty desperate, aren't you?" he asked.  
"Yes." Sakura was trying to undress him, but he was too tall.  
"Relax Sakura. We have plenty of time," he said, seductively biting her earlobe.  
"How long?"  
"As long as you want it".  
"You mean like forever? Sakura asked.  
"Is that what you want? Sakura nodded "Then, forever it is."  
"Kakashi, take me to the room" Sakura pleaded, kissing his neck.  
"I'll take you to the stars and back, Sa Ku Ra" Kakashi promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!!!! I finally made it! I finished this story full of song, and love, and doubts, and fears but a happy ending. As always thanks for reading!!! I'll be waiting for your comments so don't be shy, and let me know what you think. I may write more stories for them. Don't know yet if they are going to part from here or from something entirely new. We'll see.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in Naruto verse. I've dreamed with this song: Blinding Lights for a few days, and always was Kakashi plaguing these dreams, and I don't know why I think it feets perfect. Please I would love to read what you think, I really do. If you hated please don't say anything I will realize anyway. If you like it instead you know what to do. Should I write what Sakura fells??? up to now its something just one-sided. so.... I'll be waiting.


End file.
